getting lazy

this is my first blog post in a long time and the only reason for that is because i am getting lazy. i was doing really well with posting all three blogs every week but then i just stopped!

another reason is because i am really busy.  i work 40 hrs a week and i have 12 credit hours at school and i have to deal with things at home...i get up at 5 usually every morning then i work till about 1 and head to school to be in class from 3 to 6:20 on monday and wednesday. on tuesday i am in class from 2 to 4:50.  friday thru saturday i usually work full days at work or i close and it sucks.  i feel like i never have time to do anything. because when i get home from my busy day i usually do some dishes or cleaning around the house and by the time i get done with that i am exhausted! i dont feel like i am doing well in my other classes either. i try to find time to do my work but its just so hard and i dont know what to do about it. i cant quit my job i have bills to pay and i dont wanna quit school because i like learning. its just i barely can find time to do the work for school

Where does the other sock go?

okay so where does the other sock go?

if you dont know what i mean by other sock then i shall elaborate...the "other" sock refers to the sock that always seems to go missing when doing laundry and ruins a pair of socks. especially if you are like me and have socks that are different from each other. plain white socks bore me.

this is a question that i know has plagued me for a long time and im sure you have wondered the same thing....where does that freaking sock go?! well i have investigated furthur into the matter and what i found may suprise you.

im sure you know that you share your body and your home with microscopic bugs and organisms. but i bet you didnt know that you also share your home with tiny elves.

The tiny house elves that live in most peoples home are called beetle bees.  they are very tiny and can not be seen with out a magnafying glass.  they are commonly found in tiny areas of your home that are often dark and damp so they can stay hidden from us humans.

you are prolly asking yourself what does this have to do with my socks? well when we are asleep these elves are thriving. a group of the elves go off in search of objects in your house they can use to benifit them.  because they live in tiny dark damp places they need warmth and this is where your socks come in....while investigating these facinating creatures i noticed them carrying a sock off from the dirty laundry basket.  i followed the sock and saw that they use this sock for many different things.  they use it for clothing, homes and many other things.  they only carry off one because they are soooo small they can only carry one. these elves are not wasteful so they only take a sock when they need it.

these creatures have put your sock to a good use. so next time you notice one missing dont be mad, you are providing a home for a baby beetle bee elf!

leave me alone!

why does everyone have to be on my case about everything! i am 22 years old and most of the time i feel like i am 2 yrs old. i am told i need to buy a car by the end of the month.....i am told that i should take out a student loan to get said car. i am told that i should look for a car. i am told that i should look on craigslist..then i am told to not look on craigslist. i am told that i shouldnt go see a car i find because i dont have my money . and wont until hopefully feb. 25th.  i am told i am not putting any effort towards finding a car. i am told i should get a specific car. i am told that i will have to settle for a car because i need one.

none of this really makes any sense to me. i understand i need a car. i understand i wont have money until the 25th and i understand no one will hold a car for me. so what is the point of looking while i dont have money to buy a car! i have looked at 3 cars in the past week and all 3 cars have been sold. i feel like it is a waste of my time to look for a car right now while i dont have any money. the 3 cars that i did see i really liked them and they were in my price range and i could totally see myself driving them and ilike the thought of having those cars. but then they are sold and i still have to continue to look for a car while i dont have any money to buy one at this moment?

this whole thing is really frustrating me i dont understand what anyone wants from me. i cant finance a car from a dealer because i have no credit and the only one who can and will co sign for me is my uncle in syracuse!!! i cant just go to syracuse at the drop of a dime to find a car out there when i work and go to school out here! i cant really go look at dealers around here for a car because my uncle wont drive out here just to co sign for me!

another thing is i know nothing absoultely nothing about cars! if i did find a car i would need someone to go look at it with me because for all i know i could be buying a hunk of crap that looks nice! theres only one person out here that could look at a car with me but he really doesnt have time to look(even tho he wants me to buy a car!).

i told a guy at work i was looking for a car. he found me on facebook and told me he was selling his car if i were willing to buy it. he told me he would hold the car for me and i could have it on the 25th. he told me all of this stuff about the car and whats been done with it and he only wants 2000 for it which doesnt seem bad to me. and its a jetta...i love jettas!!!!my only problem with the car is it is a stick shift and i suck at stick shift. i know how to drive a stick in theory but when it comes to action i fail pretty much everytime. the last time i attempted shift was terrible i backed into a reflector pole and stalled in the middle of the road. yay!

i really have no idea what i am doing and i am nerves im going to buy a junk car because that happend to me before...when i was 14 i started working every summer until i was 17 to buy a car. i got my licence and saved up money. me and my mom went to her friends dealership to look at a car and i bought a chevy corsica. i dont remember the year but long story short the engine blew after a month of me owning the car. me and my mom trusted her "friend" to sell me a good car and he sold me junk! i just dont want this to happen again.

i dont know what to do..ugggghhhhhhhh

"The only thing i ever wanted was______"

"The only thing i ever wanted was a little privacy!!!!!! being 12 years old you get no privacy at all. its like your business is open for your entire family to see!! like really mom must you listen in on my phone converstations! is your life that dull that you must hear the jr high gossip. and dad was it really nessessary for you to take my door away just cause i slammed it a few times. and that stupid little brother of mine keeps sneaking into my room when im not here so he can read my diary and tell all his friends that i have a crush on that boy in my math class..and then they tell everyone on the middle school bus and then it gets back to their older brothers and sisters and eventually it ends up in my school and i have to go and tell everyone people are making things up that i dont even know who that guy is! its so embarrasing having to share a bathroom with these people. i want to do is take a shower in peace and thats never possible with all these people in this house who just happend to have to use the bathroom while im in it..even after i double check to make sure no one has to go!! pshh when i get older ill have my own apartment and ill be able to do what i want when i want and no one can tell me any different.  i wont have to be held up in my room with all the phones in the house so no one can hear what me and my friends will really be up to this weekend. and id like to see anyone try and take my door away from me in my own apartment! there will be a no little brothers allowed rule for my apartment i dont care if he wants to visit for 5 minutes! ahh and the bathroom!!!!! omgosh i would finally have a nice quiet relaxing shower that no one interupts because again it will be my own apartment and ill make the rules!!!!"

Expect the Unexpected.

i honestly do not set expectations for myself that arent in the now.  by this i mean i really dont think long term on expections for myself.  for example: i expect that i should wake up and go to work and school everday. but long term i dont have any expectations for myself. if that makes any sort of sense.

i feel like if i set expectations high for myself and i dont reach them i only let myself and others down.  most of my life i have been held to high expectations based on people around me.  in highschool i was expected to get straight a's and be a good teenager because my older cousin set the example of being a model student.  i was expected to be the grown up in the house really young and thats why i act immature about things now.

i have no idea what the future will bring or what i will be doing in 10 yrs so i can not set expectations based on what i have no clue about.

the only expectations that i hold for other people is to be honest with me. thats it, i  dont feel like thats to much to ask or to much to put on anyone. i dont know if any of this made any sort of sense...it made sense in my head.

doe a deer a female deer!

so im going to go on a rant about how stupid deer are!!! i have hit 3 of them four legged meat bags this year and 4 in the past 3 months!! like really they have got to be the dumbest animals in the history of animals. i hit one tonight and the thing ran out full blore right into the side of my car and busted up my headlight tot he point where i need a whole new headlight not just the bulb and my hood is a bit wrinkled up! the deer i hit in december just ran into the side of my car and didnt do any damage.  the one i hit in the beginning of january took out my grill and broke the safety latch for my hood, but my brother in law fixed the latch.  the one i hit last week left a huge dent in the side of my passanger side back door!!!

i seriously feel like i am destroying this car!!! i know my car is green but i feel like there must be like an invisable camo paint on it and the deer just cant see me..i certainly dont ever see them!

my sister tells me i have to pay more attention but i feel like everytime i do see them its to late and they are just running..everyone i know tells me to just hit the deer and not swerve because if i find myself in a ditch that could be worse. and everyone tells me that i need to watch my speed...but the first deer i hit it was really crappy out and i was only doing 25. the rest of the times i was only going the speed limit!

i feel like there should be some sort of invisable fence collars for the stupid deer like they have for dogs.  how stupid can one animal be to just run out infront of a moving object! like hey i see a moving car let me go run out in front of it because it looks like so much fun! ughhh!!!!! when i lived in the city i never got into any sort of car accident and when i went in the country to visit my family i never hit a deer then either. but i ove out here and im hitting them left and right what is up with that!!

867-5309

one of my favorite memories is the winter i spent with my best friends while house sitting for our bosses.  that winter we got into so much trouble and had the best time doing it.  it started when our bosses left for florida the day after christmas and my best friend traci was asked to house sit for them.  she took it very seriously at first and only she was staying there...well in the beginning of january her brother had a birthday party at his house and their mother kicked us out and we went down to the house and we pretty much never left.  we had so much fun having a house to ourselves it felt like we were grown up. i was only 14 at the time and i felt like we had so much freedom...we were so broke most of the time and couldnt buy our own toilet paper so we would take some from our houses and take food too and make dinner.  i remember one night we were there and at the time we were all really obsessed with paintball and one of my friends was trying to clean his gun and didnt realize there was a ball in the chamber and the next thing we knew we were all cleaning blue paint off the white walls and ceiling.  a really good night was when we climbed on the roof and watched a meteor shower...that was alot of fun. and to this day i cant not watch the title menu for the old school dvd because one night we all watched it and fell asleep and when it ended the title menu kept playing over and over and over. there was no way i could get up to turn it off because i was in a huge reclining chair with 2 other people and there was someone on the floor under us and another person on the floor by the tv so it played all night long and drove me insane!!! one night we even found our bosses stash of playboy magazines from like 30 years.  sometimes it got hectic with all the people in the house so my friend kicked everyone out but us but her brother some how kept finding a way to break into the house to annoy us.  we did alot of random things in that house like calling 867-5309 from the song (jenny i got your number) we even tried different area codes. one of the area codes said the voice mail box was full. and the 315 area code a guy answered and yelled at us and threatend to call the cops on us.  one night we learned how to make the works toilet bowl cleaner bombs. that was fun, we decided to try it in 2 3 liter bottles in the woods down the road from the house and it made the loudes BOOM! and the next thing we knew we were running back to the house and the helocopters were out looking for what happend...the next day in school everyone was talking about the loud bang and if we had heard it. it was hilarious but at the time we were scared out ofour minds! it was hilarious the night we were walking from my friends house down the road to our bosses house and for some reason her brother and our friend decided to start stripping down to their boxers? i really dont know why they did that but i remember it was freezing outside then our other friend took us to the rez to get cigarettes while they were still in their boxers and her brother takes our friends moms scarf and uses it as a toga....i feel so bad for his mom.....there was so much that happend in that house and during that time that i dont even know how to explain it all.  that winter ment so much to me and i wish i could go back, not to relive it but to watch how it all happend.  i dont think i have ever had so much fun in my life.